Stimulus Payment Info.

This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment.

This is a very exciting new federal program that I will explain using the Q and A format:

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?

A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money?

A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?

A. Only a smidgen.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?

A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn’t that stimulating the economy of China?

A. Shut up.

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Below are some helpful hints on how you can best help the Canadian economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

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NOTE:

If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to – China .

If you spend it on gasoline it will go to – the Arabs.

If you purchase a computer it will go to – India.

If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to – Mexico – Honduras – Guatemala.

If you buy a car it will go to – Japan .

If you purchase useless crap it will go to – Taiwan .

None, repeat, none of it will help the Canadian economy.

We really need to keep that money here in Canada.

Therefore, to ensure that the money stays in Canada, spend it at:

- yard sales,

- go to a hockey game,

or

- spend it on prostitutes,

- domestic beer & wine, or

- tattoos,

Since those are the only businesses still located in Canada.