YouTube…all new stupidity

This is how stupid our companies have become.

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This is an email I received this morning. Here’s the back story.

I got an invite to ‘monetize’ my videos because “one of your videos is becoming popular on YouTube”. They never mentioned which one. Currently my ‘channel’ has all of 4 subscribers and a whopping 1647 video views for all of my 69 videos with my biggest watched video of Man Walking Backwards with a whopping 22 views according to their statistics, over the last 30 days. I do have a video that has 185 views but that has only had about 16 views in the last 30 days.

So, as the email goes “Please submit your additional information below:” with a link to the video this email seems to be complaining about.  Here it isn’t obvious what I am supposed to do.  I am simply on the video editing page.  So I check out the new ‘monetize’ tab and see “Your video is currently not approved for monetization. To consider your request, YouTube requires information regarding your commercial use rights for your video. ”  The only option here is to check the “I can provide proof of commercial use rights”.  Commercial rights?  This is youtube.  This is a personal channel.  I am not even close to being some sort of commercial entity with stats like mine.

Ok, so I click it and select “My video contains only my original content.” (ugh, kinda stupid that THIS video and ONLY this video has a problem…keep reading…it’ll soon be clear how idiotic this is).  I am then presented with a text box that says “Explain in the text box below how you own commercial use rights to your content”  Alrighty, I do just that.

“It’s a real shame that all the technology you own and it can’t tell that the 1 MINUTE video is MOSTLY A BLACK SCREEN!  Where is the check-box for the ‘sarcasm’ option?  There is NO movie here.”

Somehow their stupid software thinks that a 1 minute, all-black video is an actually movie I recorded because the title says “Recorded movie on my phone!”.  Their software can analyze shaky video and correct it, why the hell can’t it see a nearly completely black screen and realize that there is nothing here but some low-volume audio.  Ridiculous.

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